Saturday

– kickin’ the workin’ week away –

Saturday night. Party night. For me and my friends, the best night of the week. This time we ended up in a kind of posh bar in the ‘good’ part of the city. Since I’ve moved to Stockholm I have seen many bars but this was definitely one of the best. I have been living in this great city for only 4 months now and I’m having the time of my life. My aunt runs her own business here with her Swedish husband and they gave me a job at their office. I had to learn Swedish in 3 weeks and I am still struggling sometimes. I’ve a group of foreign girls here and we decided to go bar/-club hopping every Saturday. This was our second time here. We’ve already noticed some Swedish celebrities last time so we are on the lookout again.

Suddenly my Spanish friend Maria shouts out in horror. She is totally shocked and I ask her what is wrong. “Oh my God!! Oh my God! We have to go, I can’t stay here!” she points out what she means and then I understand. The love of her life just entered the bar; Clarence Öfwerman… we are both big fans of Roxette but she is so in love with Clarence that I don’t call her a roxfan anymore. I’m just in for the tunes and I think Per and Marie are great people. Of course Per is very cute but I couldn’t see myself falling in love with him, he’s simply too far away. Maria grabs my arm “Elise, we have to go and talk to him, come on!” I try to assure her that he is not going to be interested, he’s taken! She doesn’t want to hear about it and drags me to the other end of the bar. We are only about 3 meters away from Clarence and can hear him talking. Maria’s Swedish is worse than mine. I get a lot of Swedish phone calls and mail at work. She works there too but handles only Spanish and English things. We made it a habit to speak English to each other.

– I’m not too sure if I’m laughing or crying –

We find seat at the bar right across the corner where Clarence and his friends are standing. I am still at ease; I don’t know what she sees in him. She wants me to somehow get her in contact with him. “Why don’t you offer him a drink?” I say. He’s drinking beer. “Noooooo I can’t talk to him!” ok now I’ve had it with her. I order some drinks for us and a beer. I take the beer to Clarence. “Excuse me, my friend wants to offer you a drink but she is too shy.” I say in Swedish and give him the glass. He is very nice, kind of shy and gives her a sweet smile. As I walk back to the bar I realize I saw another familiar face there. I sit down and look at the people Clarence is talking to. Yes, I was right, there is Per Gessle too! My God, I just missed him by an inch! Now it’s my turn to get nervous, my heart starts pounding and my palms get sweaty. “Maria! Per is here too!” I whisper in her ear. She starts to laugh and doesn’t believe it. Then she looks away in the right direction, looks back at me and confirms. It’s indeed Per standing there, glass of wine in hand. He looks very good in a tight jeans and a white shirt, top buttons open. They seem to be having a ‘guy’s night out’ as I see no wives or girlfriends anywhere.

The bar is getting emptier. A new club is about to open nearby and lots of people are going there. Our group wants to go too but they have to leave us behind. We are not going anywhere. I get the creeps when Clarence’s group starts moving towards the bar. They take places on our left, one of them sitting beside me. I can see Per clearly now, sitting at the bar. The bar is built in a square. I am staring at him and I can’t stop myself. He looks so good that I can’t keep my eyes off him. Maria can’t sit still in her seat, she is anxious to meet Clarence but just too nervous. Then Clarence changes places with the guy that was sitting beside me. So suddenly I am sitting next to Clarence! Maria’s face gets red and she stops talking. Clarence seems to have lost his lighter so he asks me if I have a light for him. As I light the cigarette, I catch Per’s gaze. He was looking at me and now our eyes meet. I manage a smile and look away.

– sweet as a sweet can be –

I can’t bear it anymore, I get almost hypnotised by him. I turn my back t him and face Maria. “I just can’t look at Per, God he looks good!” I whisper t her. She gives me a naughty smile and says “He’ coming this way…” I stare at her, my mouth open. I hear his voice behind me, he starts talking to Clarence. Oh my, this gorgeous man, so close to me! We need more alcohol so we order another round. I get up and walk to the ladies room. I calm down and laugh at myself. “He’s taken girl, live with it! Besides he’s twice your age!” I say it out loud, there is nobody else there. When I come back I see that Maria has taken my place and she is talking to Clarence! Per is leaning against the bar on her other side. So if I want to sit, it will be next to him! I walk back into the ladies room and check myself in the mirror. I am wearing a very tight, dark purple blouse. I loosen one more button, revealing more than I planned to. But this situation is asking for it… under that I wear a tight low-waist jeans and high-heeled boots. I go back to the bar and approach Maria. I walk past Per, I see him looking at me but I don’t look back. Maria is practising her Swedish on Clarence, she is obviously getting drunk. I grab her and whisper “What do you think you’re doing” in her ear. “Elise my friend, come and have a drink with us!” she yells to my face in Swedish. I sigh with a smile and take a seat next to Per. He is still standing there, looking at me. I try to avoid his gaze. I light a cigarette and order a glass of water, one of us has to stay sober.

“No more alcohol for you?” I hear his sweet voice right beside me. I smile. “Well I don’t want to end up like her!” I say. I am so afraid he will hear my heart pounding in my chest. Per takes a seat beside me while peeking at my breasts. “I know it is a lousy sentence but have we met before?” I look into his eyes, smile and then sigh. “Yes I think we have but I don’t expect you to remember it.” I say softly. Now I have to confess that I am a fan… “I do remember,” He goes on, “you were here two weeks ago right?” that’s kind of a shock to me, I haven’t seen him here before but I was here two weeks ago. I nod, not knowing what to say. I stumble over the words when I say I didn’t see him here before. He gives me a smile that makes me all warm in side. Good thing I’m sitting. “I left just a few minutes after you and your friends came in. you are hard to forget though…” he looks at his hand, playing with his empty glass. I don’t know where it comes from but I answer “Ooooh, well I guess I should take that as a compliment right?” then we are silent for a while.

Maria is not silent at all and I am kind of worried of what she’s getting herself into. Per is looking at her and Clarence too. He is so close I can smell a sweet male perfume. “Do you think everything is alright?” I ask in a low voice right beside him. He looks at me and then answers “Well that depends on what you consider right…” I look puzzled. He turns to me and speaks softly and only for my ears “You see my friend got dumped a few days ago and now he’s looking for a one-night-stand. If your friend is in for that, she’s going the right way. If not, you should take her home.” He looks at me seriously and very close to my face. I feel and unbearable urge to kiss him and I already lean towards his mouth when I suddenly snap back to reality. “Uhm… Yes… I – I am not sure about that…” I stumble and search for words. Then he places his hand on my knee and says “It would be a shame if you left now, though…” I look at his hand. He sees that as a warning and takes it away. “Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to… offend you or…” he’s suddenly shy again. I stand up and whisper to him “I didn’t mind, not at all” then I go to the ladies room because Maria is heading there too. I wait for her at the door and tell her what Per had just said. She is not as drunk as I thought and says one night is just fine. I doubt that but let her go. I am a bit afraid about going back to Per because he was seriously flirting but he is also very married.

– when you walk out that door, honey, you’re on your own –

When I come back, he is waiting for me at the door leading to the bathrooms. He places his finger on his lips and takes my hand. He takes me outside. It’s cold there and quiet, only a low beat comes from inside. He pulls me into a dark corner and looks into my eyes intensely. I feel I am loosing control and this shouldn’t happen. All I want is kiss to him and that’s exactly what happens. I reach out and have to stand on my toes to get to his mouth. He takes my face in both hands and kisses me softly. His lips are very soft and warm and his scent so sweet. He ends the kiss and looks at me “I’ve wanted to do that since two weeks ago.” He says and I hear desire in his voice. I place my hands on his chest and offer my mouth for more. This kiss is much deeper, I slip my tongue into his mouth and we start playing. I hear my breathing getting shallow and I push my body against his. He seems surprised about my reaction and his hands are floating in the air. I take his hands and put them around me, still kissing him. He holds me tight now and I hear his breath getting faster. His hands slide down my back to my ass which he holds in a firm grip with both hands. I end the kiss and catch my breath. I moan a bit when he starts kissing my neck. “Oh Per…” I whisper, holding him tight. Then we hear people coming from the bar and I step back. They are about to close the bar and Maria leaves with Clarence. We get inside and I get my coat and cigarettes. Per’s other friends leave too and now we are the last people to leave the bar.

When we are standing outside together, I feel very strange. Now what? I am desperate to ask him about his wife but I just can’t get it out. “Where do you live? Shall I walk you home?” I thought he’d never ask. And so we walk to my building, talking about Clarence and what happened to him and his girlfriend. I point at him where I work and he says he knows the firm. My uncle and aunt are well-known book translators. Then we reach my building. He locks me in between him and the door. “Could I please have another kiss before I go?” he asks with a naughty, boyish grin on his face. I take one of his hands from the door and look at it. No sign of a ring. I check the other one. Nothing. I dare him with my eyes “I thought you were a married man” I say, being a smart-ass. He sighs as looks to the ground. “Technically… yes we are still married. But it’s not much of a marriage anymore.” He looks into my eyes and I am not sure if this makes the situation easier or harder. “So now you go to bars to pick up girls half you age?” it comes out harsher then I mean it. He looks at me strangely. “Are you half my age?” The expression on his face tells me he is struck and didn’t expect this. “Sort of” I mumble. He doesn’t know what else to say. I pick up his chin and pull him to me. “Come on with that kiss then.” I whisper, lust pouring out of me. He pushes me to the door, exploring my mouth once again. I get very aroused by this and moan into his mouth. I grab his hips under his coat and pull him closer, my hand on his ass. The passion between us is surprising and a totally new feeling for me. I really do want him but I can’t get myself to invite him in. we keep kissing against the door. I feel his hands getting under my jacket. I unzip it and he gets his hands under my blouse. I hold my breath when I feel his hands on my naked body, my knees get weak and I have to hold on to the door. He starts kissing my neck again and makes me groan.

God, how I want to take this man to my room and keep him there all night… but my conscience wins over my lust. I finally manage to end the kissing and whisper “I should go now” under my breath. One last kiss and I’m gone. I didn’t sleep at all.

– and there’s a sound of the telephone –

Work is very busy and it’s Friday before I know it. I thought about Per every day, the whole week long. Maria had the best weekend ever and still walks around on a cloud. He even called her… while I am in the middle of a meeting with some colleagues, Maria bursts in “I have a phone call for you, very urgent!” she says. She has red cheeks and he eyes are sparkling. “What’s up?” I ask her when I walk to my desk. She says nothing and sends the call to my phone. I roll my eyes and pick up and say the whole line in Swedish we say when we pick up “Good afternoon, Wallström and Knapman, Elise speaking how can I help you?” it is silent for a moment. “Hi, it’s Per Gessle here” he says and then pauses. I feel blood going to my face and I have to sit down. “Oh… Hi!” I stumble. “How… how did you…” I can’t find the words but he helps me out. “Clarence told me you work in the same firm as Maria so I got the number from him. I really want to see you again.” I smile at Maria, who is watching every move I make. I give her thumbs up. “Well uhm… that can be arranged…” I say in a low voice. “Great! I would love to take you out to dinner somewhere but that’s not such a good idea, since I am being watched by the press lately… maybe you have an idea?” I smile and start thinking immediately. “Yes actually I do, why don’t you come to my house for dinner? You know were I live, right?”

– shaping me up for the big time –

So we have a date. The rest of the day I am glowing and walking on air. I take an hour off and go home early. I go shopping for some groceries and decide to cook him some nice seafood. When I get home I have so many things to do before 19.00! I run around the house, cleaning up a bit, I prepare the food halfway and take a shower. I put on the same kind of tight blouse as last weekend, only this time it’s black. With that I have a very short, dark purple skirt. I wear very sexy black see-through underwear and stocking that I fasten to a small belt around my waist. Perfect. High-heeled boots, a hint of make-up… done. I set the table and light some candles.

Per arrives at 19.15, somehow I expected him to be late. That’s perfect because now I had the chance to put my hair up and finish the last things. He brings a big bunch of dark red roses and I blush when I see him. He gives me a kiss on the cheek. I invite him to the living room. My apartment is quite big, which you wouldn’t expect from outside. It belongs to the firm. We sit down with a glass of wine first and he asks how my week has been. “It was a mad house! I have been extremely busy.” I tell him and I know I try not to look too tired.

He loves the food I’ve made and we talk a lot over dinner. He tells that he has been in Halmstad for most of the week, but he decided to fly back to Stockholm for the weekend. “I have decided that it’s time my wife and I both go our own way. But it’s hard with a kid, you know…” he explains. “Does she agree with you on that?” he doesn’t look at me when he nods. It seems a painful subject for him so I leave it at that. I bring in a desert of different flavours of ice-cream. “Do you like chocolate sauce?” I ask him. He grins and nods. So I pour some sauce over the ice-cream. While eating the ice-cream with the chocolate sauce, I imagine myself lying on the wooden floor, naked, with chocolate sauce all over me and he has the tough job to lick it off… I feel I am turning red and look at him. He is not looking at me but at the ice-cream and is kind of playing with it. I’d give a lot to read his mind at this very moment!

After the desert we sit there for a while. I smoke a cigarette and we talk about work. I bring all the dishes to the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher. He comes in with more dishes and helps me. I get nervous of him walking around in my kitchen. The tension between us is enormous and I am asking myself how much longer I can take this. I know I shouldn’t sleep with him on this first real date… He is not coming on to me or anything; he is just being very nice. Makes jokes, smile his amazing smile at me and looks deep into my eyes. We sit and drink wine and just talk for a while. Even his presence makes me feel hot. I excuse myself and go to the bathroom where I try to calm down. Why is this happening to me? He has more effect on me than any other man I’ve ever known. Just his gaze at my breasts can make my panties wet… I decide to just try him out. I will go back to the living room and change my place. I will not longer sit opposite from him; I will sit next to him. I decide I am going to try to seduce him. I have to because this man is making me crazy!

I go back to the living room. He ha picked up a magazine that was lying around. I know he is in it and some comments about him going to a party without his wife. She always used to go with him. I sit next to him and he puts down the magazine. “I have been thinking about you a lot this week” I confess to him. His eyes seem to sparkle when he says “I was just about to say that…” his shy smile is so sweet… I get closer to him and let my hand go trough his hair. He looks at me and I feel I am drowning into his beautiful brown eyes. He seems hesitant, not knowing what to do next and that makes him even more adorable. I lean towards him and place a soft kiss on his cheek. Then I take his face and turn it to me, the next kiss lands on his lips. Once again he smells great and I breathe him in deeply. He slides his tongue against my lips, slowly enters my mouth to find mine. We kiss slowly building an even stronger tension than before. He takes his time but I can’t wait anymore. I pull him closer and lay down on the couch. His lips touch my neck and he is kissing his way down. I slip my hands under his shirt and caress his back. His hands seem to be everywhere at the same time. He starts to unbutton my blouse, breathing heavily and not knowing where to touch first. He opens my blouse and places soft kisses between my breasts. He squeezes them softly, looking deep into my eyes. “Are you sure?” he asks me with a voice husky from lust. I give him a naughty smile and nod. Then he puts a hand on my leg and rubs it all the way up, under my skirt he feels where my stockings end and groans.

– the bed is big enough for both of us –

We stand up from the couch and I lead him into my bedroom. He puts his arms around me from behind and gently bites my ear. I push him on the bed and get on top of him. I hold his hands over his head to let him know I am in charge now! I rock my hips against his and feel the bump in his pants is growing. I kiss him, let his hands go and start to unbutton his shirt. I kiss every new-revealed naked skin in front of me. His chest is beautifully tanned in a gold-brownish colour. I take of his shirt and go down to take his pants off. Under that he wears a tight boxer short which cannot hide his desire. He doesn’t let me take it off but decides to take control again and gets on top of me. I take my blouse off and throw it away. Next is my skirt. He looks at me for a while, just lets his hands go over my skin and explores every part of my body as if he sees a naked woman for the first time. Inside I am exploding and I want nothing more than for him to take me hard and with no further fuss… he is not likely to do so. He takes off my bra and begins to squeeze my breasts carefully. He starts to kiss them and takes one of my nipples into his mouth. My body twists and turns under him as I undergo the pleasure of his tongue. The sounds I make tell him he’s doing everything right. One of his hands slides down and goes between my legs to do some more exploring there. I push my hips upwards. He feels the wet spot in my panties. I hear him groan and mumble but I can’t understand what he is saying because my mind is spinning! He removes the rest of my clothing fast and determined. Now I feel his hand between my legs again, finding its way inside me. I let out a deep sigh when two of his fingers enter me. I pull his face us and kiss him wildly. “Please don’t let me wait any longer!” I whisper to his mouth.

– all succumb to the physical fascination –

He kisses his way down over my belly until he is where he wants to be. He parts my legs and starts kissing my inner thighs. I bite my lip and wait… his tongue comes closer and closer until he is licking me there where I most need it. I go crazy when he is making circles around my clit. My breathing is heavy and I push my hips closer to him. Then he takes my clit into his mouth and starts sucking and playing with it with his tongue. This is too much for me and I feel myself going over the top. Waves of pleasure go through my body… my legs start to tremble… “Oh! Per!” I say his name loud when I come. He watches me come and waits until the orgasm fades away. Then he lies on top of me again. I am breathing fast, my heart is racing and I am overwhelmed with surprise. No man has ever succeeded in bringing me this much pleasure, no man could ever make me come. He kisses my face and neck and whispers in my ear “Was it ok?” I smile at him and sigh. “It was not ok, it was fantastic!” I say in a voice still thick and low. I wrap my legs around him, rocking against him. I am feeling very relaxed but he is still very excited and I feel his hard penis that is still caught inside his boxer shorts. I start to take it off him and throw it away. I feel him between my legs. I move my hips around and he is inside me before he knows it. He holds me very tight and pushes further slowly. I look into his eyes. They roll away and I see the pleasure on his face as he starts to go in and out me. He is doing everything very slowly; still taking his time, there is no rush. I could hold on to his sweet rhythm forever. “It feels so good to have you inside me.” I whisper in his ear and play with his hair. I see he’s having trouble to control himself, he is slowing down even more. I start to tease him by rocking my hips against him, increasing the rhythm and the intensity of his thrusts.

He buries his head in my hair, biting my shoulder softly. I hear his moans and they heat me up again. I get a firm grip on his ass and roll him over. Now I am on top of him and I sit straight up. He is still inside and fills me up completely; it almost hurts to have him so deep. He plays with my breasts and slides his hands up and down my body. I start to thrust myself on him, gently at first but not for long. I find the rhythm that he seems to like and go on like that. One of his hands reaches between my legs again, I feel his thumb on my clit and he starts to rub it. There is only so much a girl can take and I know my second orgasm is coming quickly. So I go faster, looking into his eyes. He says my name and tells me I do it so right. Then he lets me slow down and concentrates on his thumb. It is impossible for me to ignore what is going trough me there and then. I get warm feelings in my stomach and feel as if I only consist of that small knot of nerves hid in between my legs. I am about to have another orgasm and he knows it, he can feel the contractions inside me. He encourages me to let it happen. “Yeah, show me, come one, does it feel good?” he says softly and his words make me even crazier. “Come on Elise, give it to me, show me how good it is, come for me…” then I can’t hold on anymore and with a loud cry I let pleasure take over once again. Still on the waves of the great orgasm I just had, I start thrusting hard again. Now he is ready for it, I see it in his eyes. His grip on my hips is so tight I’m afraid he will leave bruises there but I couldn’t care less. He moves his hips upwards in my rhythm and I lay down on him, holding him tight and kissing him hard. He shouts out to god and his mother and releases what he held in him for quite a while. I slow down as he is catching his breath. He kisses me tenderly while his hands go trough my hair and he caresses my back.

For a while I know nothing to say. What I wanted to happen happened and now I don’t know what to think of it. When I analyze my feelings at that point I am afraid I’m about to fall madly in love with him… in fact I already am I confess to myself while I feel his soft hands massaging my back. It’s not always easy to admit you’re falling in love, especially when it’s better not to. I couldn’t imagine a future for us, let alone think that he will love me too. But then again: I saw this coming, I have been going over it the whole week. I was so eager to see him again and so worried how I could reach him. Couldn’t just go to his house and ring the bell… the fact that he got in contact with me enters my mind and I get stuck. “Are you sleeping?” he whispers in my ear. I shake my head. “No, it’s time for after-play.” I say and get out of bed. His face is a question mark but he gets out as well and follows me to the bedroom. I pick his shirt up from the floor and put it on. In the kitchen I get us some wine, sit down on the couch and light a cigarette. He starts to laugh when I hand him his wine. “I just forgot for a moment that you smoke, hahaha!” and then he mumbles “After-play… can I join?” now it’s my turn to laugh. I hand him the cigarette. He looks at it first and then takes a drag. He inhales carefully and not too deep, and then breathes out again. “I am going to call the newspapers tomorrow. Can you see then headline? ‘Gessle caught smoking’!” I tease him.

I cuddle up to him on the couch. He lets me smoke the rest of my cigarette alone and starts to play with my hair. At this moment we can’t stand any space between our bodies, we have to feel each other. I want to tell him about the thoughts I just had but I don’t know how to start. He is not at ease either. “I think we shouldn’t go to sleep yet… I think…” I start. He finishes for me. “We should talk?” he says. I nod and zip some wine. He wants to say something but I put a finger on his lips. “Please, may I go first? I have thought about what I want to say already…” I take a deep breath and finish my wine before I speak. “I have two confessions to make. First you have to know: I am a fan. It’s not that I have sex on the first date every weekend. I tell you this because I don’t want you to think I am objective and just know you got famous somehow.” I see he did not expect this and he even looks a bit disappointed. He wants to respond but I go on. “The second thing I want to say is a bit… a bit harder to say…” here I hesitate. Should I really tell him I fell in love? Would he think I fell in love with him because I am a fan? When I look at him and feel the excitement in my stomach again, I decide to go for it. “I am falling madly in love with you…”

– every chance in love you’d love to take –

It’s one of those typical Monday-mornings; it’s raining and I am late for work. I enter the office at about a quarter past nine while I am supposed to be present from 8.30… I apologize to my colleagues, they do nothing else than laugh at me. I realize I look like shit… this has been a very strange weekend indeed. I try to avoid Maria’s gaze, of course she is determined to find out what happened to me since Friday night. I get some tea and settle behind my desk. I have no time to think about what I will tell Maria because my phone starts ringing right away. The week hits of with a very busy Monday and I can’t talk to Maria at all until lunch. We escape the office for an hour and go to a small diner around the corner. We meet up with two other friends from the office.

“Come on now Elise, spit it! Tell me about Friday!” Maria starts before we even sit down. I wait until we have all placed our orders and then start explaining to the other two that I had a date last Friday. “Do you seriously think you have to tell us this?” Sarah from the UK smiles at me with a ‘we know it all’ look on her face and I sigh. Of course I was never going to be able to keep it a secret. “Ok… well he came to my house for dinner this Friday… and… welll… uhm…” I hesitate but they beg me to go on. “We had a great time and yes, he spent the night with me.” I finally manage to get it out. They scream and applaud, obviously annoying the other guests at the diner. “Well honey I can see by the way you look that you are on top of the world! Girls, isn’t it very obvious that our dear Elise is in love?!” Sarah always figures me out in two seconds; there is no place to hide with her around. We talk about him for the rest of our lunch break.

Later in the day I go to Maria to inquire about Clarence. We have some time to talk while sorting out some paperwork. She tells me she still has a big crush on him but she doesn’t think it will last. “We are having a lot of fun together and he is adorable but I don’t think I am really in love. What about you?” I look into her eyes and she smiles. “Do you really have to ask? I never thought of him like that but since last week I am floating through the air!” I explain in a low voice. Not the whole office has to know how much in love I am. “What about him? Is he in love with you too?” She looks at me with a hopeful look in her eyes. When I nod, she stands up to hug me. I’ve got used to Maria’s warm way of dealing with people and her lively expression of her feelings. “Oh I am so happy for you dear, did he say he’s in love with you too?”

I tell her what went on Friday. That I was so nervous to tell him but it all worked out great. After I told him I was falling in love with him his whole face lit up in a radiant smile and he held both my hands in his. “I am very happy that you are telling me this,” he said and then confessed as well… “Like I said, it was hard to forget you after seeing you in the bar two weeks ago. I have been thinking about how to meet you while I didn’t even know your name. I have been looking around when I was in the city, to see if I might run into you!” I was overwhelmed by the fact that I was obviously special to him. We talked trough the night about love and practised it as well, I can’t remember sleeping… it was probably Saturday evening before he left, leaving me on a cloud…

So maybe love at first sight does exist, I will have to find that out. “When are you going to see him again?” Maria’s voice takes me back to reality. “Well he gave me his phone number. We agreed that we don’t want to go too fast so I said I would call him.” she looks at me in surprise. “And I still haven’t! What should I say to him, I saw him two days ago…?” “But you want to call him, don’t you?” as if she can read my mind. Of course, I can’t wait to call him! He would go back to Halmstad for the week and would immediately break the news to his wife. She is still his wife and he felt very guilty about cheating on her. On the other hand he didn’t think it would surprise her because he thought she had been cheating on him too since a few weeks. He just couldn’t find out with who and when but he was at home so seldom it wasn’t hard for her to have another lover.

– there is my baby –

When I come home at about six o’clock that evening my head is filled with work. The whole day is passing through my mind. My thoughts keep bringing me back to Per, he has not been out of my mind since… well probably since that night at the bar. I bring my groceries to the kitchen and grab a coke. Then I lay myself down on the couch and sigh. First next thing is a smoke and when I pick up my cigarettes from the table I see a flashing light… someone left a message on my answering machine. My heart jumps and I really hope it’s Per! When I listen to the message I get disappointed, it’s my mum. Is everything ok, when will I visit Holland, do I eat well bla bla bla. Then 2 people who hung up and then… “Hi, it’s me.” his voice echoes trough my apartment. “Just wanted to listen to you voice for the third time and want to tell you I miss you. Please call me back when you get home…” I smile from ear to ear; this was what I wanted to hear.

I dial his mobile number. It takes a while before he picks up. “Hello?” my heart skips a beat when I hear his voice and I almost forget to say something. “Hi, it’s Elise.” “Oh hold on…” he talks to someone in the background and I hear him walking away. “Hi honey, how are you? Sorry I just had to go to another room…” again someone in the background… “Daddy has to make a phone call dear, I’ll be right with you ok?” then back to me “sorry… I’m missing you already!” he says and he is keeping his voice down. “I’ve missed you too; I’ve been thinking about you all the time… am I calling at a bad moment?” I wonder if he told his wife about us yet but I’m a bit hesitant to ask. “No, no it’s ok. Listen… I’ve talked to Åsa about you…” here it comes. I close my eyes and lay back, feeling as if I am waiting for a verdict. “She said she’d seen it coming because of the problems we already had. To make a long story short: we’ve talked a lot about our problems now and we agree that we have been pretending for quite a while. Pretending to still have a good marriage, pretending to be still fighting for it.” His voice sounds a bit sad. “So… what is the conclusion then?” I dare to ask. He sighs and takes a deep breath. “It’s over I guess. I wasn’t even nervous about talking to her about it; I was still on a high to be honest…” I cannot choose what I have to feel in this situation. Should I be happy that he has finally decided to leave his wife because he fell in love with me? Or should I feel used because he is using me to get out of his marriage? I decide to take the chance. “So are you still sure about what you said to me Friday? Are you really… uhm… am I…” he finishes my sentence. “Yes Elise, you are very special to me and I honestly feel very much in love right now. I feel like I can handle anything, all the problems I had seem so simple to solve now, with you in my life…” I have to take deep breaths to back away the tears that well in my eyes. “It makes me very happy to hear you say that.” I whisper into the phone. “When will I see you again?” I ask, I just can’t wait. He tells me he is coming to Stockholm later in the week and he will stay for a while for some business. “Call me when you get here, ok? I just can’t wait to see you…” I keep up the whispering game with him. “Mmm yeah I know, I have been longing for you since I left…”

– I checked the sun and knew that it was time to go –

Thursday. Three days since the phone call and still not a word from Per. I feel a bit like Bridget Jones, desperately checking my answering machine, mobile and e-mail for messages, even checking if the phone is working correctly… then suddenly he is there. It’s Thursday, almost six o’clock. I’m still at work, this is overtime but we had a computer crash today so I’ve been trying to restore files all day long. “Hi Elise.” I hear behind me a voice that I immediately recognise. I stop what I’m doing and turn around. Per stand in front of my desk with a huge smile and – again – a big bunch of roses. “Hi!” I scream and get up from behind my desk. I walk straight into his arms and give him a big hug. It feels so good to have his arms around me again. He buries his head in my hair and sighs. “I’ve missed you like hell!” I whisper to him. there are just a handful of people still at the office and one of them walks in right now, mumbles “Oooops sorry…” and leaves again. We don’t even react and just stay there staring in each others eyes. He gives me a soft kiss on my mouth. “Can we go?” I nod. “Yeah I have to wrap up a few things and then I’m ready.” I feel his eyes on me all the time while I am cleaning up. I wasn’t prepared for this at all.

Today was a telephone day for me which means I won’t get to see any clients whatsoever. So I am wearing a very old jeans and a simple blouse. Still he is looking at me as if he could eat me alive… I don’t think I’d mind… “Want to go with me to my place? We could order some nice Chinese or something…” I smile at him. “Excellent idea, my place is a mess!” he takes me to his apartment in his famous black Ferrari. Feels so unreal to be in this car with him! he tells me he drove from Halmstad to Stockholm yesterday to have the car here. It was a long drive so he couldn’t ring me anymore when he got here last night. He takes me to his apartment at Strandvägen. Again it’s very strange to enter his world like this. I have seen this apartment before. When I just arrived in Stockholm I visited all the Roxette-related places every fan wants to go. But I never would have dreamed to actually enter his house!

The apartment is quite a lot bigger than I expected it to be and decorated simple. While closing the door behind me he already starts kissing me. His lips are warm, soft and make me want more. I smile and start to unbutton his shirt; I have no time to take it slow. I have waited long enough! He moans a bit and whispers “Oh Elise, I have longed for you the whole week…” I kiss his chest. Then I let go and take a step back. I start to unbutton my blouse as well while I am looking deep into his eyes. I give him a seductive smile and walk away from him when he wants to come to me. I take off the blouse and then start with my jeans. He walks towards me and wants to grab me but I take more steps back. Then he stands still, just enjoying the view. I take off the jeans, my shoes and socks. His eyes get big when he sees what I am wearing. My underwear is made of dark-red silk and the bra is slightly push up. “Why are you wearing this to work mmm?” he asks me with a grin on his face. I smile at him. “Well a girl’s got to be prepared for everything…”

He walks up to me and this time I let him. I slip my arms around his waist underneath his shirt and pull him against me. It feels so good to have his warm, soft skin against mine again. I kiss my way from his chest up to his mouth and stay there. We exchange long, slow kisses for a while. Then he picks me up from the floor. I wrap my legs around him, still kissing as he walks me to the bedroom. Still holding tight he lays me down on the bed, covering me with his body. Feeling his weight on me makes me want him even more. “I want you so bad…” I whisper into his ear. He groans while he stars to kiss my breasts. Somehow I manage to take off my bra. All his attention is at my breasts now. He starts to squeeze them carefully and licks my nipples softly. He takes one in his mouth and plays with it with his tongue. I moan and go through his hair with my hands. I just can’t stop looking at him, as if he can vanish in a second if I close my eyes. I feel one of his hands go down my leg. He takes off my panties in one move. He places kisses everywhere, starting with my breasts, going down over my belly. He parts my legs and begins to kiss my thighs.

I close my eyes and lay back. I know what’s next and I just can’t wait, moving my hips around in the direction of his face. He starts with entering one of his fingers inside me and I let out breath I didn’t realise I was keeping… then I feel his mouth and tongue explore me down there. He teases me a bit, making circles with his tongue. The circles keep getting smaller until he has reached the right spot. “Oh yes…“ I moan. He takes my clit into his mouth… I have been thinking about this all week. Never would I have thought a man could give me so much pleasure this way. He does it so good I am about to reach the edge already. “Oh yes Per that’s so good… mmmm…” I look at him, concentrating down there. Somehow it’s funny to see his face between my legs, definitely an image that I will never forget. My breath is irregular and I let out short sighs when I am going over the edge… “Oh God… yes… yes… oooooooooh…” he slowly keeps it up just a little bit until the waves of my orgasm pass.

Then he lays his head on my belly that is still shaking a bit as I try to catch my breath. He looks at my face and places soft, wet kisses on my belly. I smile at him. His eyes twinkle with some kind of pride… he gets up from the bed and I watch him undress. He lies beside me and we kiss. “Mmm that… was… mmm fantastic…” I say in between kisses. Again this proud look on his face and he smiles at me. “Now it’s your turn” I whisper to him. I climb on top of him and start to kiss his chest. My tongue leaves a wet trail all the way down. I take his penis in my hand and first play with it a bit. Then I start to lick… when I look up at his face I see an expression I didn’t expect. He seems so surprised, frightened even. I stop and look at him. “Something wrong?” he hesitates and looks really in distress. I get on top of him again and take his face in my hands. “What? You don’t want me to do that?!” I ask. I can’t even believe asking that! I didn’t have many lovers but I don’t know any man who wouldn’t like… well a nice blowjob… he stutters a bit. “No, no, I… well I would really… if you… uhm…” he looks like a 16-year old who is having sex for the very first time, like I am the older one in this bed!

I look at him, waiting what he’s going to say. He sighs, takes a deep breath and then: “I have never… had that… before” obviously a very hard thing for him to say, he turns red. I am shocked! This man is 43 years old, absolutely gorgeous and nobody ever…?! I decide not to make a big issue out of it because he is not happy to admit it. “Well… then this is going to be your first time!” I say and kiss him. Then I go back down to finish what I was about to start. I take his penis into my mouth and start to tease him with my tongue a bit. He breathes heavily, mouth a bit open and eyes focused on what I’m doing. I start moving up and down in a gently, slow rhythm. “Wow!” is all he says. I decide to take that as a compliment hahaha! So I continue, increasing the tempo a bit. It doesn’t take long before I feel his thighs are starting to tremble a bit. He moans and lies back with his eyes closed. I know he is on his way so I go a bit faster and enjoy his pleasure. “Yes… oh…” he is not making much noise at all; he is only focussing on the feelings that go trough him. His orgasm is fast and over before I know it. (to the burning question “spit or swallow” I can say that I don’t want to make swallowing a habit as it just doesn’t taste like chocolate hahaha… but this was a special occasion of course…)

After this adventure he just lays there, breathing fast with his eyes closed and his chest shiny with sweat. I crawl up to him and cover us with the blankets. He takes me in his arms and holds me very tight. He looks into my eyes with an almost emotional look on his face. He wants to say something but I just kiss him. When I kiss him, the world around me just stops. He can get me to do anything just by kissing me. He loosens himself from me; he really wants to say something. “Thank you, that was… unreal…” he whispers. “Have you… done you always do this?” he asks. “Do you mean if I see this as a normal ingredient to having sex?” I ask him with a naughty look on my face. I wonder why he has so much trouble talking about it. “Well yes, I think it’s just very important to meet each others needs… and after what you did to me, my God I just had to do that!” I make him laugh. With one hand under my head I look down on him. “So… why hasn’t any girl done this to you before? Don’t you always do it for your woman?” he thinks a while before answering. “Actually I never met a woman who wanted to do it. I haven’t been with so many women; it has been only Åsa for so many years already.” “And she didn’t want to do that for you?” I ask in surprise. He shakes his head. “I tried to… well give her oral pleasure after we had been together for a few weeks but she refused. I was not allowed to go down on her, to touch here there with my mouth. She immediately let me know there and then that she was not going to do that to me either!” he is silent for a while. “Mmm then I think she missed out on a lot of fun, hahaha! Just how did you get so good at it then?!” then we get into a conversation about former lovers. He tells me about a girlfriend he had before Åsa. She taught him almost everything in bed and obviously she was a good teacher! They just never got to the blowjob-part, they broke up quite fast.

After talking and cuddling for a while, I remind him of the Chinese he promised. While he orders I take a quick shower. He comes in when I’m done. When he is still dressing, the food arrives. We never seem to run out of subjects to talk about and it’s very late before we know it. I cannot spend the night as his house, work starts very early tomorrow because of the computer problems we had today. He takes me home in his incredible Ferrari. When we arrive at my house I kiss him goodbye. He doesn’t want to let go, keeps kissing me. It’s impossible for me to stop that. The moment his lips touch mine, I just turn to water and let him do whatever he wants. After about 20 minutes I try to say something. He ends the kissing and laughs. “You were saying?” “I really have to go now! Will I see you tomorrow?” he nods, with a smile. “I have some business to take care of and I will be finished quite late. But I can come here after?” that’s a deal. I steal one last kiss and get out. He waits until I am inside. When I’m in bed 5 minutes later I realize I have to get up in only 6 hours! “Mmm couldn’t care les” I think before I fall into a deep sleep, big smile on my face.

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