* * *
Two girls in front of one mirror, sharing the mascara stick.
“I need something for this.” said Mia and pulled the sacks under her eyes even lower.
“Haha… I know what you need! A beer!” Jenny cheered happily. Both girls laughed.
It was Thursday afternoon and the girls were getting ready. They had spent a lazy day in the park in the centre of Göteborg. Now after a shower and change of clothes, they were getting ready to go back into town and grab a bite.
“You look lovely,” Jenny complimented her friend when their eyes met in the mirror. They wrapped their arms around each other and stared at their images for a moment.
“We look mighty lovely.” Mia agreed.
While walking down the stairs, Mia felt that she had to ask Jenny a question. It had been on the tip of her tongue ever since Jenny came over Sunday afternoon.
“Jen…” she started.
“Yes Mia-dear!” Jenny was exuberant and happy and Mia hoped she wouldn’t spoil the atmosphere.
“I was thinking…”
“Mmm…” they reached the street and walked into town.
“Just tell me if it’s a bad idea, but…” she paused again.
“What?” Jenny had gotten really curious now.
“I was wondering, if you would like to… spend the weekend in… Halmstad?”
“In Halmstad…” Jenny echoed.
“Yeah! The weather is so great now, and you haven’t been there for so long!”
Three years. Jenny hadn’t been in Halmstad for three years!
“Well and we can try to ‘avoid’ certain places,” Mia continued. She was getting all excited about the idea. Jenny didn’t answer. She walked beside Mia and looked up at the bright blue sky for a moment. Everything seemed great today. As yesterday. Why would this weekend be any different?
“Ok.” she said, in the middle of Mia’s next pro-Halmstad story.
“What? Yes? So we are going?”
“Yay!! Ooooh it will be great. We won’t go to Tylösand, I know another nice beach, so we don’t have to see him…”
“But he is there now, you think?”
“Yes, I know he is there, I read it in the newspaper!” Both laughed. The newspapers kept Sweden updated about in which one of his houses Per Gessle was staying at the moment.
So, it was a deal. On Friday morning the girls drove to Halmstad. They arrived there around lunch time and checked into a hotel in the city. They spent the rest of the afternoon in town where they went for lunch and some shopping, looking around and enjoying the great weather. The evening was a lazy one with books, TV, cold drinks and candy.
Sunday morning, they arrived at the beach around ten. They found a nice quiet dune for themselves to lie in. Jenny fell asleep almost instantly. She’d had a terrible night. Horrible dreams had been chasing when she finally fell asleep around three, eventually making her get up just after seven. Mia sensed it and didn’t talk much either.
After a little while, Mia got bored. She wrote a note to Jenny and put it between the pages of the book she was holding while sleeping. ‘I’m taking a walk, will be back soon.’ it said.
Jenny was awake and sat cross-legged on her towel, reading, when Mia arrived a little later. She’d brought ice-cream which was very welcome of course.
Jenny thought Mia was acting a bit weird. She was nervous, almost dropped the ice-cream a couple of times and spilled on her towel. She talked and talked but didn’t but didn’t really say anything. She repeated everything three times.
“Mia. You’ve already told me that.” Jenny started to get annoyed. Or more curious than annoyed, actually. Because why was she acting like this?
“Oh. Yes. Oh and you know what I saw at the cafeteria, I…”
“Yes, a seagull, I know! What’s up?”
“Ehm, nothing, sorry. I am a little over-active I think, because, well, because I took a walk and it gives me a lot of energy and…” Mia saw in Jenny’s face that Jenny was waiting for something.
“Tell me, what happened? It’s obviously something you don’t want me to know. You met friends and made plans for tonight?” while Jenny had said, she wanted a quiet, cosy night for the two of them…
“Ehm… sort of… well not really.”
Silence for a moment.
Jenny was looking at the sea, her back to Mia. It was about the hottest moment of the day, the middle of the afternoon. Sweat dripped along Jenny’s neck and she really craved some coolness.
“Let’s go for a swim!” Jenny said and wanted to stand up.
“Jen, wait!” Mia grabbed her arm.
Jenny let herself fall down on the towel again.
“Then tell me! Something is wrong, I can see. Tell up.” she said in a whining voice and wrong Swedish grammar. Mia sighed. She truly looked troubled.
“I spoke to Per. On the beach.” she didn’t look at Jenny.
“He is on the beach?!”
“Mhm. With his son. He wants to see you…”
Jenny didn’t say anything. She stood up and started to scan the shore with her eyes.
Mia was worried. She was so worried, her belly started cramping. What was the worst that could happen, she thought. Why was it such a big deal that she went up to Per, disturbing him in playing with his son, and telling him that his former mistress was sleeping in the sun only meters away… well she didn’t exactly tell him that, of course. But she’d gone to him to tell him Jenny was here. She had no idea now why she did that. But Per didn’t seem to mind. He took it very seriously, listened carefully. Asked her some questions and seemed to think things over.
“Jenny sit down, come here….”
“I see them.” Jenny’s voice sounded soft and thick. Mia stood next to her. Both girls watched Per and his son walking along the waterline. They watched until the guys had left the beach and they couldn’t see them anymore. Jenny sat down again. The pounding of her heart was almost hurting.
“He wants to meet you.”
“What did you tell him?”
“That we are staying at the Scandic.”
“You can’t fool me Jenny. I know you want to see him too.”
Jenny looked down at her hands lying in her lap. She couldn’t say anything against that. She was desperate to see him, talk to him, feel him…
“He wants to meet you tonight, at nine, at the beach entrance.” Mia continued.
Later that day
The girls had a simple dinner in town and were strolling through the streets. They didn’t talk much and especially avoided Per as a subject. Jenny had assured Mia that she didn’t do anything wrong and Mia said sorry for interfering…
It was almost nine and the girls were sitting on the roof-terrace of the hotel. They were alone and had great fun, bringing back old memories, joined by a half-empty rum-bottle and some cola.
“Jen, it’s almost nine.”
“I am not going.” she mumbled.
“Nooooo…. you have to go!” Mia put a whining tone in her voice but it didn’t help.
“I am not going! I have decided that I don’t want to see him. He’s no good for me.”
“But Jen, he really…”
“Lalalala…” Jenny had put her hands over her ears and starting singing. Mia threw some chips at her and stopped talking.
“I’d rather have you for myself anyway, so maybe it’s good you’re not going.” Mia said when Jenny was listening again.
“You know what I would like? Bubbles.” it was Jenny who said this.
“Yep. Haven’t you seen the whirlpool-tubs behind the fitness room?”
“Oooh you’re right, I almost forgot!! That’s a perfect idea!”
They hurried to their room to take a quick shower and put on their bikinis. Mia stood by the door waiting for Jenny, who insisted on putting up her hair before they went down. Then, the phone rang. Jenny came running out the bathroom and fell on the bed when she picked up.
“Yes! Yes that’s me. Ok. Hello?”
Mia understood that Jenny got transferred a phone call. She almost didn’t dare to look but she saw Jenny had turned red. It was him.
“Hi Jenny, it’s Per.”
“Hi…” both went silent. Jenny was the first to speak again.
“It’s a long time ago…”
“Yes, indeed. I am at the beach.”
“You are there now?”
“Yes. Did Mia give you the message?”
“Yes. But ehm, I didn’t…”
She sighed. She heard the sea through his phone. His voice was warm in her ear and he sounded inviting.
“I decided not to go, because…. well, because…”
“I would love to see you, you know…” Per said softly.
Jenny sighed again.
“Mmm. Do you have more time? I mean, do you mind waiting for a little longer? I can…”
“Yes! I’ll be here.”
“Ok. At the entrance, right?”
“Yes. Or close to it.”
“Ok. I’ll take Mia’s car-” Mia was nodding enthusiastically – “and will be there in… about fifteen minutes…”
Right after she’d hung up, Jenny let down her hair again and stepped out of the shorts and threw the comfortable t-shirt through the room.
“Oh God, what am I getting myself into…” she mumbled under her breath. She took all her clothes out of her bag. It was still warm outside. She chose long white pants. The thin cotton was cold against her skin and she got goosebumps when she put it on. Mia handed her a white top which closed around the neck and was the same fabric as the pants.
Exactly fifteen minutes later, Jenny passed the sign ‘Haverdal Beach’. She parked Mia’s old BMW next to the black Mercedes sports car. Her throat went dry when she walked to the beach and saw a man sitting in the sand. The rest of the beach was empty except for a older couple passing by along the water.
Per sat halfway between the water and the dunes, in the sand. He was wearing light jeans and a white shirt. His feet were bare and his hair moved slowly in the wind. Jenny had trouble breathing when she came closer. Damn he looked good.
“Hey…” she said softly, still about three meters away from him. He seemed to be startled, had been lost in thoughts maybe. He stood up instantly.
“Hey… so you came…”
“Yes…” she wrapped the vest a little tighter around her, although she was far from cold. They took a few steps and she walked right into his opened arms. Their hug was warm and lasted long. She felt tension in his body and his heartbeat loud and clear against her. She stroked his back for a moment. She didn’t know how long they’d been standing there but he suddenly let go. He cleared his throat.
“Shall we take a walk?”
“Yes, good idea.”
He started to make conversation.
“How have you been?” he asked. Jenny said that she was fine. Then realised that this was not the right answer, this was meant to get some kind of conversation going. So she told him that she’d been spending some time with Mia, a very welcome vacation after a busy period at work – as always.
Per didn’t really get every detail. He was looking at her mostly. She looked good, he thought. Different. Her hair was black again, he suddenly thought with a smile. She was tanned, the white clothing only emphasising it.
During the walk she took off her vest and Per almost choked on his words. He told her about how great the day had been for him and Gabriel. Mmm, could she have gained weight too, maybe? She looked rounder than last time. But better. Her top slid up a tiny bit when he made her laugh out loud. The small piece of skin that was revealed caused tingles in his belly. She was gorgeous. Per had visions of throwing her in the sand and kissing her neck, when they walked in silence for a moment. He didn’t do it, was probably not the best idea for now. But he couldn’t fight the urge to take her hand in his. She looked up at him quickly, eyes blazing. He squeezed her hand.
“I missed you. A lot.” He almost whispered it. She looked away but didn’t let go of his hand. He pulled her closer until they were shoulder to shoulder. Jenny stared down at the sand without really seeing anything. Her mind had gone quite blank now.
“Jen…” he sighed, his warm breath on her cheek.
He let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her shoulder. Little unsure, little unsteady, her arm slipped around his back and she lay her hand comfortably on his side. Few steps later, her head rested on his shoulder.
Twilight had started to settle over Haverdal beach, when they reached the pier. There they turned around and started to walk back. They didn’t let go of each other and they didn’t speak much either. They just walked, arms wrapped around each other and thoughts flying.
Jenny stopped walking when they almost reached the beach entrance. She turned to Per and hugged him, pressed her whole body into him. Her face leaned against his neck and she breathed his scent in deeply. He answered her hug, of course, wrapping his strong arms all around her and nuzzled her hair.
“I should go.” she mumbled after a few minutes. Per hugged her even tighter. A shock went through him when he felt her lips on his body. She kissed his chest, there were he’d opened a few buttons of his white shirt. She placed a second kiss and ran her lips along his flesh… Per held his breath and closed his eyes. Her touch turned him on immensely. He loosened a bit from her, he didn’t want her to feel that something was starting to react… Jenny reached up and kissed his lips, just once, shortly. Then she stepped back a little and looked at him. Her face was flushed and she looked a little rumpled… just too cute, thought Per.
“Well, goodbye then.” she said softly.
Per snapped out of his haze.
“Uhm, yes, goodbye…”
She walked to her car and opened the door, then looked back at him. He’d been standing there, feet glued to the ground, realising it hurt to see her go.
“Jen! Wait!” he hurried to her.
He leaned on the car door.
“We will keep in touch, right?”
“I mean, if you can give me your email then I can drop you a line, once in a while…?”
Jenny got her purse out of the car and went through it. She found a business card somewhere and wrote her private email address on it.
“Thanks. When will you go home?”
“We’re going back to Göteborg tomorrow morning and then I’ll stay for another week. I’m flying home on Saturday afternoon.”
“Ok. Have fun then, in your last week, and I’ll mail you soon.”
Per couldn’t restrain himself. He bent forward to kiss her again. His kiss was a little bolder than hers was a few minutes ago. He fully pressed his lips onto hers, let go for a second, and then kissed her again. His lips were slightly opened and he took her lower lip between his… suckled it with his tongue…
Jenny placed her hand on his chest to push him away. The feeling of his body, hot under his shirt made her gasp. She opened her lips a little bit, just enough to let his tongue slip inside. Their kiss was soft, ever so careful, neither wanted to break the moment. Per felt as if he was about to explode, trying hard not to kiss her deep and roughly. He reached out and pulled her top up a little, sliding a finger across her side.
Jenny placed both hands on his chest now. She lightly moulded his flesh before she finally pushed him away. He was shaking. His hand touching her had been trembling. He was nervous and probably hard, too… She was out of breath and it was impossible to say something, but she knew she had to go now or she’d never be able to get rid of him.
One last glance in his eyes, a smile and a wave. The she drove off quickly, the old blue BMW disappearing into the darkness.
The rest of Jenny’s vacation was lazy. She and Mia spend a lot of time doing as little as possible. They occasionally took daytrips to towns in the neighbourhood or out in the town, but nothing exciting. When Jenny got home, she felt good. Rested, re-loaded and happy. She used the Saturday afternoon to do the wash, until her entire Rotterdam-apartment was filled with drying clothes. She tried to ban Per from her mind for the time being.
With still a whole week of vacation ahead, Jenny started to do things she had wanted to do for ages. Like painting the bathroom, buying plants for her terrace and visiting friends and family. It was late Thursday evening when she sat at her computer and decided it was time to confront her self with her undoubtedly flooded email box…
It was right there among the last messages: an email from Per. She was a little reluctant to open it so she scrolled through the rest first. She wasn’t really concentrated on what she was reading though, so finally she opened it. She was relieved to find a nice, friendly email full of jokes and stories about his every-day-life. Her reply was the same kind, ending with hugs & kisses like he had.
Jenny’s vacation was over before she noticed it. She exchanged emails with Per almost on a daily basis, sometimes many a day. They spoke about almost everything but avoided the subject ‘us’. A big change was about to happen in Jenny’s life and she wrote him about that when she was sitting in her office one Friday afternoon. She would quit her job next week. She was fed up with the people, the atmosphere, the crazy working hours and ‘being the boss’. Just before her vacation, she’d had a row with one of the highest managers, the only person in charge of her. She’d come to realise that she could do without this job. Why the hell stay I this shitty office, with these horrible people, the piles of work only getting bigger and the pressure only heavier? She’d been disagreeing with Ahoy’s system for so long now and she was ready to end it here and now.
Per’s reply came about an hour later. If she had another job yet? Jenny sighed and smiled. There was something about her that not many people knew. Her family and a few close friends, but that was it. Now Per sounded so worried in his mail, she should tell him too.
Jenny’s father had died a couple of years ago, right after Per’s solo tour. She got home in a miserable family, weeks of stress and fighting ahead of her. She had never been close to her father. He’d left their little family short after Jenny was born and never really came back. He had travelled around the world many times. Sometimes he returned for a while, trying to get Jenny’s mother to lend him more money and to give him a place to stay.
When Jenny returned from Per’s tour, her father was in The Netherlands. He was in the hospital, in very bad condition. It turned out he had a very bad sort of cancer which was almost impossible to cure. Given the fact that his illness had also been neglected for many years, it was obvious he wouldn’t make it. After a lot of drama and fighting at home, Jenny decided to visit him. Her mother was too bitter to care and her sister was unable to make a decision. So Jenny went. She sat by his bed and spoke with him for what seemed ours. The next day she went back, and kept visiting him almost every day until he died.
Her father had told her the most important stories of his life. He made no excuses of what he had done in the past, to her, her and her sister. He only emphasized the fact that one should do as one feels, if only slightly possible. He also told her there would be a huge inheritance when he died. He’d made sure the money would be divided honestly between the two sisters and their mother. At first, Jenny didn’t really get it. Why is this inheritance so important? The most important thing for her was that she had finally gotten to know who her dad really was…
She found out not short after. Sitting in the notary’s office, hearing that the total amount of the inheritance was more than twenty million euro… was probably the biggest shock in her life.
She hadn’t been neglecting the money that was stored for her, but she hadn’t changed her lifestyle either. She still found the job at Ahoy’ and still didn’t buy the next biggest villa around the corner. They money scared her a little. What the hell to do with your time when you’re not working?! Anyway, she knew now. She was going to quit her job and live the free life for a while. She had the possibility, so why not!
Jenny sighed and stretched her arms above her head. She’d written a very long email to Per, explaining… well, her life-story, actually. He replied shortly a few minutes later. ‘Why did you let me pay for dinner then?!’ was all he had written. Oh and there was a PS: ‘and, if you don’t know what to do with your time… I miss you. xxx P.’ Her stomach fluttered.
Her reply was: ‘Do you have messenger?’ she went out to another office and came back a little later. The first thing she did was check her email.
‘I am logged in. Impatiently waiting.’
Good. Ok. So now she would chat with him. Tingles spread through her belly when she logged on to messenger. Shit, a lot of friends were online. She blocked them all, sorry, no time… then the message appeared if she would accept Per’s email address and add him to her contacts.
Well well indeed! Why are you sundaymorning?
Haha, because it’s my fave moment of the week :D
So what’s up?
What’s up? You wanted to chat! What’s up with YOU!
Ehmmm… well pretty not much actually. Apart from the fact that I am leaving my job next week.
Yes… Jenny the Rich Chick. I never expected that!
Of course not. Hihi. Always have to keep a little mystery ;)
So, do you want to come over to Sweden?
And do what?
Haha. Spend money. Buy me dinner. That sort of thing.
LOL. Mmm. Maybe I will. Or maybe I will just spend my days in bed with a laptop. Writing emails all day. Chatting.
Doesn’t sound bad either. But you’ll get bored.
How do you know? Maybe I am super-lazy… you don’t know that.
I think I do. You have too much energy.
Jenny was silent for a moment and stared blankly at the screen. Should she go? It would be fun to spend some time with him, of course… but then again, if she already got tingles in her belly from just chatting with him, what was to be expected if she met him…?
Don’t you have anything to do? I mean, if I come over, you’ll have to entertain me or otherwise I’ll get bored.
mmm. I can make some time. And think of some things to do. Obviously not walking along the beach.
Haha… no not in October I guess. What then? I only came to Sweden to walk along Haverdal beach you know.
Of course… well there is Stockholm. You could come over to Stockholm.
And, well, we can have dinner. And you pay the check :P
By the way! Now that you mention October, isn’t your birthday this month?! Have I missed it already?
Yes it’s somewhere this month. You haven’t missed it yet.
And btw2, why don’t you come over HERE. It’s your turn, kind of.
What’s your BD then?
My turn? To come to NL you mean
Yes! Maybe you’ll be in time for my BD party ;)
After a little more chatting about reasons to meet and when and where, Jenny decided it was time to go home. The weekend was about to start!! She was back online when she got home, but Per wasn’t there. He logged on after twelve when she was just about to go to sleep.
Good evening, rich woman.
Haha… good night, rather.
Oh oh, time flies when you’re having fun.
You had fun? Went out?
Kind of. Dinner party. Was kind of boring but the wine was good.
Oh-oh… have you been drinking a lot?
Yes. But not too much. I’m not drunk.
Not drunk but pleasantly floating?
Haha… yes that. I thinklk//
LOL well if you talk as you type…
Sigh. I am not drunk!! Otherwise I would’ve tumbled into bed right now. It’s just that messenger doesn’t have spell-check.
Of course. Blame the machine.
Well and how about your travel plans?
Ha! MY travel plans? How about yours?
I really want to see you again
I miss you
That wasn’t the first time he’d said that in the past moths. Jenny didn’t really know what to say.
We saw each other… 6 weeks ago or so.
Yes. Too long ago.
you don’t want to see me?/.
Excuse the type-o
I don’t know really
You don’t know if you want to see me?
No! I mean, yes, I want to see you. but I don’t know if I should.
Silence for a moment.
Ok so you want to know why I am in doubt about visiting you.
Let’s talk about it in two weeks, when I’m really off.
Shall I change the subject?
ok. where are you right now?
Where in your home?
Haha. Good one. In bed.
I have a laptop remember.
Oh right. Ok.
Am at my desk.
Phew what an interesting subject I picked.
What are you wearing?
Me? Half a suit.
The tie and he jacket are on the floor and I am still wearig the rest.
Now it gets very interesting. What are YOU wearing :P
Uhm… hahaha…. You got me again… well not much as I am in bed and it’s hot in the bedroom.
Hot? Are you hot?
THE BEDROOM is hot. So yeah well I guess I am too ;)
Mmmmm that sounds good. So what are you wearing then?
Panties and a top.
And that’s it.
Geez what is this! An interview! “What are you wearing in bed?” “Chanel No. 5”
Yes and a white top.
I wish I was there
And then I could see the white panties and the white top
And your bedroom and your laptop
It’s not that interesting really… the top is old and the panties are huge
Mmm I love huge white panties
And old tops.
I want you
Stop it you are making me blush
Then I want you even more
To do what?
Ooooh…. So you want details
I would eat the big white panties off you. and then the top.
And I want to kiss you again, like we did by the beach.
and I want to hold you
and touch your ass
You wanted details
I get the pojnyt
I am going to sleep
I am hard
I didn’t do anything.
You don’t have to do anything, just be…
Just be and you get hard. I heard that before somewhere.
I am going now, I am wrecked. I’ll talk to you later
Can I call you this weekend?
Ok, good night then…
Both lay awake for hours. God, why did I do that, Jenny thought. Geez, why isn’t she here, Per thought.
Saturday night, Jenny came home around two. She had not planned to go out, but ended up in a club with a friend who lived in Amsterdam. After numerous invitations to spend the night at his place, she’d taken the last train. One guy on her mind was enough at the moment. She stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom to remove her make up, when she saw her mobile phone lying there, on the washing machine. Sigh. She had planned to take that with her when she left that afternoon, in case Per called. He had called around half past nine and left a message with his mobile number on it. Jenny sent him and sms, saying she’d gone out and forgotten her phone, and goodnight. Then she switched off the light and lay down with a big sigh. About two minutes later, her mobile on the nightstand buzzed. Per had sent her an sms, that he was also awake and if he could call her? Jenny giggled. A midnight phone call… mmm she was in the mood for anything at the moment. So she called him. He picked up instantly.
“Hey.” His voice was a bit thick and cracky.
“Hey there… why are you not asleep yet?”
“Oh… I was reading and I hadn’t even noticed that it was this late already… how was your night out?”
“Great! I met an old friend in Amsterdam for dinner and we ended up dancing in a club… and then I took the last train home.”
“And now you are lying in bed?”
“Yes, how do you know that?”
“Hehe. I can hear in your voice that you are lying down… I’m in bed too, with a very boring novel.”
“Oh… what about?”
“I have no clue, haha! I’ve been reading this since about eleven or so but it’s too vague, I don’t have any idea what the point of this story is actually…”
“So, have you thought about coming over?”
“Yes I have.”
“And I still don’t know. There are so many things… there’s a voice in my head saying ‘Don’t go! Don’t go!’…”
“Mmmm… how annoying. Can you ask the voice why?”
“Then the voice comes back with questions to you.”
“Let’s not play around about this Per. You and I both know what’s going to happen when I come over. And do we really want that?”
She only heard his breathing on the other side.
“Or should I explain? The plot’s like this: I fly to Stockholm, we meet, we have sex, you leave and I go back home feeling miserable for three months. And then the same might happen again and again. I’d like to break the pattern before it becomes one.”
Jenny was out of breath after saying all this and shut up. She was sitting straight up in bed now, staring into the darkness.
“Why would you be miserable?”
He knew exactly what to ask, of course.
“I will, because… because…”
“I wish I was with you right now.”
“Are you alone?” she asked.
“Where is… the rest of the family?”
“You mean how come my wife isn’t here?”
A deep sigh from him. Not one in annoyance or to buy more time before he answered, but a sigh to really get some air and calm his voice before it would start trembling. The day had been too long and he shouldn’t have taken that last glass of wine. His mind was too cloudy to talk serious shit.
“She… she’s with my son… in another…”
“We decided to live apart for a while.”
There. He’d said it.
“She left you?” Jenny whispered breathlessly, her mouth hanging open.
“Not really. We just thought it might be good for both of us.”
Jenny thought for a moment.
“Does she know…”
Per interrupted her.
“No, she doesn’t know about us.”
Us. Us. Us. Jenny hated to even think ‘us’. ‘Us’ was impossible and it hurt.
“When you’ve been living together for half your life, you need a break sometimes. It has happened before.”
“But you sound very sad.”
Another trembling sigh.
“Is that the reason you want to see me? Because your wife is gone?”
It was not an accusation. It was an honest question and even sounded sweet.
“Maybe. I don’t know Jen, all I know is that I want to be with you right now. I want to hold you and kiss you. I think about you all the time.”
God, she thought, men are the weaker species. She let out another sigh, for a change. Was a little bit of an annoyed sigh maybe.
“Pffff… now I am even more confused.” She mumbled.
“If you don’t want me, then why did you kiss me at the beach?” his voice was suddenly firm again. He needed some answers as well. She wasn’t the only confused one in the conversation!
Jenny had become cold and she lay down, snuggling up under the covers.
“Geez Per, you just don’t see it do you?!” his reply was a giggle.
“This situation with you and me, it’s so strange, difficult, confusing… I can’t make a decision.”
She was silent for a moment.
“Go on.” He said softly.
“Well I… I just like you a lot and… yes, I want you, for God’s sake, there’s nothing I want more. But I doubt that… that…”
She took a deep breath.
“I doubt that my feelings are the same as yours. I am still madly in love with you, you know.”
Jenny had her eyes closed and listened carefully to the static rustle in the phone. She heard him swallow hard.
“Do you love me, Jenny?”
God his voice. His voice could send shivers over her whole body.
“I’m afraid so. I’m afraid I always have.”
“Could you forget about our difficult, confusing situation? And just come over and let me love you?”
Jenny held her breath and didn’t say anything. Her throat was thick and tears were stinging behind her eyes. Tears of annoyance. Why was it so fucking hard to just forget about everything and run right into his arms? Forget the reasons, the consequences and the future. And just go for it.
“What do you feel?” she whispered into the phone.
“God Jen, I don’t know… I… I think I fell in love with you a long time ago. But there wasn’t any room for those feelings. I just… I think I just ignored it.”
He let it sink in for a moment, then continued.
“That evening on the beach, I knew. I knew it when you left, when I saw you drive off.”
His voice had gotten steady again and he sounded very awake. He was sitting on the side of his bed.
“Wait… what I also want to say is this. I think I am in love with you, and I think I will always love you. But I can’t… it’s impossible to…”
“It’s impossible for us to be a couple?” she couldn’t help but use the word she hated so much. His silence was confirmation.
“I’m going to sleep now.” She said softly.
“Ok. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be. I’ll talk to you later, ok?”
Jenny walked around with a knot in her stomach for days. She didn’t contact Per and didn’t hear from him either. As if both had decided it was better to let things rest for a moment.
* * *
Per let out a deep sigh when the wheels of the small air plane touched ground with a soft bump. As much as he hated flying, he needed it to get around.
They landed in Stockholm on a beautiful Friday morning. When he got out of the plane he looked up at a bright blue sky and was greeted by a slightly cool wind. September had arrived; month of consideration and reflection. For Per, winter was beside the worst also the busiest time of year. This time it was different though. Since he had decided to take things a bit slower with work, take one step at a time and finish it before tumbling into something else, he’d been dreading the thought of winter approaching even more than usual. Too much free time was looking at him, he thought.
He had a nice Roxette-related trip to Rome with Marie. They hugged goodbye before both got into another taxi. His phone rang just after the car left the airport area. It was Åsa. His heart was heavy when he picked up.
“Hey there. How are you?”
“Just back from Rome, happy to be on the ground again! And you?”
“Everything’s ok over here. Your son misses you. He’s starting to ask after you. And if we had a fight and fallen out of love.”
“What did you say to him?”
“That I would call you and see if you two can spend some time together.”
“Of course! Shall I come over tonight?”
“I think it’s better when you two boys are alone for a while.” Åsa said with a chuckle.
“Hehe… maybe it is. I can pick him up in a few hours, right after school?”
“Yes, that would be great. I’ll make sure his bag is ready. How many nights can you have him?”
“Ehm… I do have some appointments on Monday and Tuesday but that’s all during school hours I think. So we can see how it goes, ok?”
Åsa felt relieved when she put down the phone. Per had sounded as she expected, or rather, as she hoped. He was warm, kind and willing though a little distant. Distance was good, she thought, in this matter. Gabriel needed to be discussed carefully and without emotions that make conversations only more difficult… like before.
* * *
Jenny leaned backwards in the warm water. This bath was all she longed for since she got up this morning. She had been in a hurry the whole day long, but now… resting was all she was planning to do. Except… well maybe she could call Per later. She picked up her mobile phone which was lying beside the bath. It was almost nine in the evening. She got all nervous when she typed an sms to Per. ‘it’s been a while. how are you? love, j.’ she hesitated for at least twenty minutes before she finally sent out the message.
‘beebeep, beebeep’ sounded Per’s mobile. It lay on a side-table in the empty hall. The house was dark except for one little light in the living room.
Per tucked the sheets tightly around Gabriel.
“Good like that?” he asked. The boy nodded.
“Papa!” he called out when Per started to leave the room.
“Hug!” Gabriel said and held out his arms. Per sank to the bed and gave him one last hug.
“Now, sleep tight ok? Tomorrow there’s school again and tomorrow night I’ll bring you back to your mama.”
Per strolled through the living room, tidying up the mess kids always make. Then he heard a phone ring somewhere… and remembered he’d left his mobile in the hall. It was Åsa, checking up.
“So how is it going?”
“Alright. We had a lot of fun, and a lot of fights.”
“Yes he’s been a terrible fighter with me too. Nothing is good enough, no compromises about anything…”
Åsa sighed and they were both silent for a moment.
“How are you?” Per asked and this time it didn’t sound as if he was just being polite.
“I’m… ok I guess. I planned to do some hard thinking, but I am constantly busy with so many things…”
“Keeping your self busy…” Per mumbled.
“Maybe. I don’t know.”
“So… we are going to keep this up for a while then?”
“Ehh… pfff… yeah… I think so…”
Åsa ended the phone call quickly after that because she got guests. Then Per read Jenny’s sms which she’d sent around half past nine…
His first reaction was that his heart skipped a beat. Second, he bit his lip and smiled. She wasn’t completely ignoring him after the dramatic conversations last time.
‘Hey you! All is fine here, how about you? xxx P.’
Jenny didn’t see the sms until the next morning. She was walking through Stockholm’s busy centre, shopping and feeling quite good, when she suddenly realised that she hadn’t switched on her phone… When she did so, Per’s sms came in right away. Jenny breathed in and out deeply for a moment. She went through the options menu on her phone and pushed ‘Call back’. Then she waited, walking slowly along some shops.
Per picked up quickly with a hesitating.
“Hello. I thought I’d call you to thank you for your message.”
“Ehm… hehe… well I didn’t expect that, really. How are you?”
“I’m fine thanks. Am shopping.”
“Mmm that sounds good. Looking for anything special?”
“Well I am wondering what to wear because I might have a dinner-date tonight.”
“A date? with who?”
Jenny chuckled at the surprise and curiosity in his voice.
“You. If you feel like it. You can choose the restaurant, but…”
“Huh? What do you mean? Jen! Are you in Stockholm?!”
“Haha!! So you came after all… that’s great!”
“So, do we have a date?”
“Ehm… tonight, yes, that’s ok. But not too early, I have something to do first. So, around… half past seven?”
“Sound good to me. Do you know a nice place?”
“Ehmm… of course! We can meet at Operakällaren, I’ll make reservations. It’s on Karl 12th’s square…”
“Ok! Is it a posh thing?”
“Haha… no… well, yeah, nobody wears jeans and sneakers there but they won’t fuss about it if you would…” she heard him grin.
“Aha. Ok. So I’ll buy a dress then.”
“Hehe… well you don’t have to, if you don’t want. We can also go to McDonalds.”
“Hihi… no it’s fine, I will find something to wear. Half past seven tonight, I’ll see you there.”
After their conversation, Per stared at his phone for a few seconds, as if the little thing could answer all those questions in his mind. The most important question was one to himself; what was he supposed to do? Did he want her or not? Why did he agree on this date?
He sighed and smiled stupidly at himself. The answer was ridiculously simple. Of course he wanted her. His whole body was aching to hold her in his arms again, his brain was cooking over all the things he was planning to do to her once he had her naked in his bed…
Gosh. He already got hard thinking of it. That slender, soft body of hers, wrapped tightly against his… twisting with pleasure. Ufff… Ok enough horny thoughts. There was no way he could make the evening head for that. They needed to do some serious talking so he’d better prepare.
Jenny wandered around the store. All dresses seemed too stuffy, boring, expensive, even more boring, or just plain ugly. Eventually, she let the woman of the shop show her some things and she admitted that she really thought everything was quite dull…
“You see, I have a date tonight with a man that I really like and… well… it’s kind of special…” she hoped she didn’t blush. The lady seemed to get some brilliant idea and walked all the way to the back of the shop. There were some older dresses which were supposed to be ‘out’ or maybe even ‘in’ again.
There was something interesting. It wasn’t black, for a change. And it wasn’t as long as all the rest, either…
“Why don’t you try this? I’m sure it looks great on you!” the lady said with a bright smile. Jenny nodded… this was nice indeed…
Jenny had taken a quick shower. She was late! Shit! She’d been napping a little while and now it was already after seven! The taxi would be downstairs any minute. Quickly, she put on her new set of underwear and then The Dress. It slid over her body like a second skin… made her feel incredibly sexy, while it wasn’t even especially short or had more cleavage than any of the other dresses that she saw. It was the fabric. The fabric followed every curve in her body, complimented every inch…
Per cursed. He was twenty minutes late. The taxi had been in time and there hadn’t been any traffic problems. It was due to the fact that he decided to wear another suit, at the last possible moment…
He took a few deep breaths when he walked into the restaurant. Jenny was already sitting at the table, he saw her when he was escorted there by the host. She stood up when she saw him. He gasped…. she looked gorgeous. Absolutely lovely. Wow.
In spite of her own nerves, Jenny noticed his reaction. His mouth almost fell open and his eyes went big. She was busy watching him too, in the few seconds it took until he reached the table. He looked stunning in a simple, dark brown suit with cream-coloured shirt. No tie, some buttons opened… Decent but casual. Almost business-like. And he looked good….. phew…
They greeted and hugged. He pulled her closer than she had planned but she let him… took her chance to smell his neck…
When they were seated, the waiter came along to get their orders for drinks. Both were obviously nervous and shy. Per ordered some light, white wine for both of them to start with. Then he looked at Jenny again. “When did you arrive?” he asked, just to have something to say. She started talking about her trip, arrival, the hotel, just summing up little things and anecdotes.
Jenny was nervous. She spoke fast, felt an urge for a smoke, couldn’t look at him for too long. He was staring at her face intensely. How could he do that?! How was he able to get contact with her eyes every time she looked up?! She would drown. If she looked back into his eyes for too long, she would drown in them and forget what she wanted to say.
The wine was served and they got the menu to look at. Jenny was happy that he wasn’t looking at her for a moment. But every time she glanced over the menu, his eyes were there again. When that had happened about three times, Jenny giggled and looked away again, now blushing. She couldn’t help that she was acting like a fool! He turned her into one with his presence, his being, his… his… pfff everything…
“Jen.” he suddenly grabbed her hand that lay on the table… she was just looking around the restaurant, waiting for Per to decide what he was going to order. Now he placed his hand over hers and held on tightly.
“I’m happy you called.” he said softly. His hand caressed her slowly, the tips of his fingers almost tickling her. She couldn’t say anything, she just smiled. He smiled back so sweetly that it ached in her belly.
They spoke about every-day-things for a while. Per talked about his son. The fact that he wasn’t working at all, while he was supposed to write songs for the new Roxette-album but… well nothing was happening, at all. Jenny talked about leaving her job, doing nothing for a while, and how she got bored only after a few days. Per laughed.
“See! I told you, you will get bored! So. Good that you came over here after all hehe…”
Jenny said nothing but grinned and filled her glass again from the carafe of white wine on the table…
After three courses, two carafes of white wine and some more general talk, Per saw that Jenny was seriously getting a little tipsy. Her voice was close to slurring and she moved slowly. She wasn’t dangerous in matters of kicking over glasses and stuff, but she wasn’t completely awake anymore either; booze made her sleepy. So, Per was quite quick with getting the check and ordering a taxi.
“We can share the cab, as your hotel is not far from my house.” he explained. She only nodded and took another sip of her wine.
“So is the night finished then? We can go dancing or something…” her voice was slow, low and… ehm… sexy. Per swallowed.
“Haha… well first of all, I can’t dance. And second, I don’t think any club is open in the middle of the week…”
The waiter brought the check. Per started to get his wallet but Jenny was faster. She already had her wallet in her hand and grabbed the black leather booklet with the check in it. She looked at it, got her wallet and counted the money, in cash, and put it into the booklet.
“But…” Per muttered.
“I asked you to dinner, remember? You can pay for the taxi.” She said smartly.
Walking out of the restaurant, Per felt the need to support Jenny in her walking. Her shoes were high, the heels very small and thin and she didn’t look steady at all. His hand rested lightly on her back as they walked to the taxi. She named the hotel and they started driving.
“I’m a little… hazed.” she whispered close to his ear. She moved a little closer to him on the back seat, so that now their legs were touching. Per didn’t say anything but looked at her, into her eyes.
“I’m sorry if I… act like a fool.” Jenny said and then giggled over herself. Per had to laugh too.
“You’re no fool, you’re just a little drunk. But that’s no shame, is it?”
She shook her head in agreement. One of his hands caressed his arm. They’d almost reached the hotel now.
“Do you want to come up for another drink? Coffee, perhaps? I don’t think I can find my room in this state…” she whispered.
“We’re here!” said the taxi driver. Pay paid him quickly with his credit card and both got out.
Upstairs, Jenny couldn’t fit the plastic card into the slot in the door.
“Come here, let me…” Per took it from her and opened the door. He must have had about as much as she did, but he didn’t feel drunk at all.
The room was small and simple. A double bed, shower, table… the usual stuff. Per leaned against the door frame, watched Jenny walk into the room. She took he shoes off quite clumsily and let herself fall on the bed. The room was dark. Per used the key card to activate the lights. Only one small, soft light beside the bed flipped on. Jenny was still lying in the middle of the bed. Arms wide open, feet not touching the floor. Per stared at her for a moment.
“I’m going to use your bathroom.” He mumbled. He didn’t really have to go that bad. After all, he would be home in ten minutes… but… he was stalling. Trying to think of something to say. The big, serious conversation that they were supposed to have, which he had been prepared for, didn’t happen. He had planned so many things to say. so many questions to ask…
Coming out of small bathroom again, Per almost jumped when Jenny was standing right in front of him in the dark.
“Uff…” air escaped him in a puff and he grabbed his chest.
“Sorry…” giggled Jenny. Per smiled and shook his head.
“How long will you stay here?” he asked after a moment. Jenny shrugged.
“Don’t know. Doesn’t really matter.”
Silence. Per was thinking hard.
“Shall we… meet again… soon?” it sounded hesitant and it seemed most of his self-confidence had left him at that point. Maybe it was the booze after all. Jenny lazily leaned against the wall.
“I wanna meet you now.” Her voice sounded thick with sleep, low and lazy. And damn sexy, was Per’s next thought.
“I had a great time tonight.” Per said as calmly as he could.
“I think it’s time to get some sleep, and I can call you later this week?” she didn’t reply, just looked at him.
“Shall I call you tomorrow then? See how your hangover is doing?” he tried again. She still didn’t say anything but got into action. Her mind was too slow to think. It’s better if I just make a move, she thought. She took both his hands into hers and pulled him with her into the room. Per felt like cheering, but on the other hand also like sighing deeply.
Jenny stopped when they stood right beside the bed. She stood on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck and bent over to kiss him. Per didn’t move and held his breath, looking down at her rather scared. Jenny didn’t see it though, her eyes were closed and the only thing she knew was her own lust, her own craving to be touched by him. She kissed his lips a couple of times. He barely responded.
“Per…” she sighed his name, then kissed his throat.
He placed one of his hands carefully on her back. He could feel the warmth of her skin underneath, could almost feel how soft she was. The dress was champagne-coloured. Not too short, not too long and quite simple. He’d had trouble not staring at her breasts during dinner. Every shape was visible. The bra was simple enough and still, when you looked closely, you could see the faint shape of it through the dress. And of course Per had looked closely. Of course his eyes had followed the curves of her body, like his hand did now.
Per felt his breath getting shallow when Jenny started to lick his throat. She kissed down to the point where the buttons of his shirt were opened, caressed the little bit of chest hair there with her lips. Blew her hot breath against his skin.
“Jen…” Per said softly. She looked up right away. Her eyes had changed from hazed and sleepy to alert but filled with lust.
“I…” she answered but didn’t finish. She reached up to kiss him again, this time managed to slip her tongue between his lips… her mouth was hot, some taste of wine still lingering there. Gosh she tasted good. ‘More!’ said a voice inside Per’s head. ‘More more more! Throw her on the bed, undress her, give her what she wants! Come one!’ the voice was almost screaming.
“I really think I should go home.” He whispered after a soft, sensual kiss.
“I don’t think so.” She replied barely audible. One hand slid over his upper leg twice, then in between. She grabbed his hardness and held it in a tight grip. Per gasped and opened his mouth, closed his eyes for a moment.
“See. I think it’s better if you stay fo…”
“Jenny stop it!” Per suddenly said in a normal tone, quite loud for the silence in the room. He pulled her hand away from his manhood and took a step back, leaving her with her hands hanging in the air.
She looked at him in shock, horror on her face.
“I-I… I thought that…” she stumbled.
“I thought we had to have some kind of talk. But we didn’t.” he interrupted her, not looking in her eyes. She was silent for a moment.
“I think…” she started, but didn’t finish. Then she shook her head.
“I don’t know what I think.” She stated, sad and simple. She stared at the floor.
“Jen, listen.” Per had gone back to a softer tone and held her by her shoulders.
“Let’s meet again this week and talk. Really talk. Maybe you can come to my place and…” and what? He didn’t know either.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry about… this. Sorry.” She turned away from him and sat on the bed. Per sighed deeply, thinking what he had to say. Jenny lay down on the bed and turned her back to him.
Per climbed on the bed and shook her.
“Hey…” he tried. He peeked over her shoulder to her face. Her eyes were shut tight and tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Hey don’t cry… oh darling I’m sorry, I…” she didn’t move, only cried harder, still without a sound.
Per lay down beside her, his stomach against her back and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. When the crying didn’t stop, he gave her his handkerchief.
They lay like that for a while. His face rested against her neck, arm still tightly around her. Her legs were pulled up as if she was about to roll up like a ball. She was silent and he came up a little bit to look at her face. Her eyes were open but she closed them when he looked at her. He moved a little bit, but she held on to his arm. So he lay down again…
After what seemed ages, Per felt her fall to sleep. His mind was racing in a lot of different directions, thinking of things to say. Thinking, where to start. Now that she was asleep, he was kind of relieved. He wouldn’t have to say anything just yet. He lay there for a moment, no harm in listening to her sleep for a moment.
Per woke up when a motorcycle sped though the otherwise quiet street. Even though he had been very far off and got attacked by a huge headache, he knew where he was instantly. Shit! He’d fallen asleep! His body felt heavy when he sat up and looked around. Jenny was lying beside him, still sleeping deeply. The covers under her were a mess. He touched her shoulder lightly. She felt cold, so he carefully draped the covers around and over her. Then he looked at the clock. Half past four. Geez, it was no use to go home now. He came up from the bed as carefully as possible and quickly stripped down to his underwear. Then he got into the bed, under the covers, as far away from Jenny as possible…
When he woke up again, he was coming from a very nice dream. He couldn’t remember what it was about, but the tingling feeling in his body and the obvious hardness in his boxers told him it had been something erotic. His first thought was that he was so hard, he was afraid to explode… he tried to get back to the dream, thinking hard what it was about. The day had obviously arrived, judging by the light on the other side of his eyelids. His eyes were open in a second when he realised where he was. Oh shit! Oh no! He looked right into a clear blue sky. The window was opened a little bit and a gentle breeze came into the room.
“Morning, sleeping beauty.” Jenny was sitting on the other end of the bed, legs crossed. She was wearing a huge hotel-bathrobe. Her hair was a mess, her face a little puffy but her eyes were alert and awake. She was reading a book.
“Mmm. Good morning.” Per yawned. “What’s the time?”
“After ten. Gosh you’re a sleepyhead!” she grinned at him. She seemed to be fine now…
Jenny was fine. Everything was ok. After she’d woken up about one and a half our ago, she had been watching him for a while. Heard him growl in his sleep, looked at him twisting the sheets and turning around a couple of times. Her heart was heavy. What she had done last night had been… stupid to say the least. She should’ve stolen that kiss and sent him on his way… but no, she had to make this big drama out of it again. Well, at least he stayed…
“You’re cute when you’re sleeping.” She stated softly and with a sweet smile. She moved over the bed and lay next to him, face to face.
“I… think I have to apologize.” She started, looking into his still half-opened eyes.
“I behaved like a fool. Alcohol makes me dramatic, and I’m sorry to have put you through that.”
“It’s ok.” he replied with a thick voice. Jenny moved over the bed and turned her back to him.
“I need some hugging.” She whispered. Per wrapped an arm around her waist and she came closer. He held his breath when she moved her ass into his hips… he was still rock hard, unable to move without feeling it. He played with her hair, wound it around his fingers and released it again. He wanted to forget about the enormous excitement down there but he just couldn’t. Every move from her made him gasp.
Then she turned around suddenly.
“Are you ok?” she asked, brows frowned in question. Per giggled.
“Yes, I’m fine.” He tried to say, but had to laugh.
“What!” Jenny said, now with an aghast expression on her face as if he was making fun of her. Per started to get up and got out of bed.
“I’m fine… I just have this little… ehm… morning problem.” he pulled part of the bed sheets with him and stood up beside the bed. Jenny looked at him for a moment.
“You mean you’re hard.” She stated dryly. Per blushed and nodded.
“That’s not a little problem, is it?” she said with twinkles in her eyes, emphasising the word ‘little’. Per looked up at the ceiling and sighed.
“Come here.” Jenny said. When Per looked at her again, she was taking off the bathrobe. There was nothing underneath. She threw it off the bed, next to his feet. Then she patted on the bed beside her. Per just stared at her body, the tension in his chest growing stronger and stronger.
“Geez Jen.” He whispered.
“Come.” She said again. He mumbled something she couldn’t understand and turned his back to her.
“Gessle. Come back to bed and make love to me. I don’t care what happens afterwards.” Her voice was firm, but thick with lust, a little husky.
Per dropped the bed sheets, climbed on the bed and on top of her right away. He pressed his whole body against her, feeling everywhere he could, his lips on hers… he kissed her wildly, seemed to want to drink her out. His hips moved slowly back and forth between her legs, his member brushing her already wet parts.
Jenny moaned and started to get him out of his boxers. It wasn’t even halfway to his knees when he entered her, quickly and smooth. He pushed deep into her and then lay still. He was breathing heavily in her neck, then looked up into her eyes.
“Oh baby… oh… this feels… so… good…” he stammered.
“I think I… it-it won’t last long, I’m sorry…” he whispered through clenched teeth.
“We are not in a hurry darling… I love everything you do… come on…” her deep voice said into his ear. She moved her hips to encourage him. A wave of pleasure washed over Per as he started to move inside her. Moans and inarticulate whispers left her mouth. She wrapped her legs around him and caressed his back with her arms. She was trembling a little and panted heavily.
“Oh Jen… mmm.” he growled in her neck and pushed harder, deeper.
“God I wanted you so bad… mmm… oh…” he mumbled into her hair. She looked at him with those big dark eyes, hot and wet and soft and… that look was more than he could bear. He cramped, pounded inside her… and then he exploded…
Jenny hugged him close to her. The weight of his body on her felt good, very good. She was still on a high, incredibly hot, tensed to the max… she moved her hips around a little, feeling him move inside her. Per breathed deeply in her neck. She felt his lips nipping her skin there, softly biting… then he went on with licking. He was moaning.
“Oh… I… I can’t even move…” he laughed softly. Jenny’s answer was to move her hips into him again, making him move inside her. He was still hard.
“Mmmm….” he growled and moved with her. His hands cupped her face and he looked drowsily into her eyes. She bit her lip and stared back.
“How do you feel?” he asked. Jenny grinned.
“Horny…” she whispered. Per shook his head.
“It was too fast, I know…”
“Mmm… that’s ok… I just need more.”
“More of… this?” Per moved his hips back and forth… her answer was a moan, a sigh. She closed her eyes and caressed his back with her hands.
“You like this? Mmm?” Per’s voice was hoarse when he spoke close to her ear. She nodded slightly.
“Yes?” he went on. His rhythm had dropped. He was moving as slowly as possible, teasing her senses by pushing into her flesh over and over again.
“Oh Per… mmmmm… go on…” she managed to whisper. Her hips moved into his sensually, trying to make him go faster. He didn’t. Instead, he stopped.
“Turn around.” he whispered in her ear. Jenny lay on her belly and pushed her ass up a little. He caressed her first, squeezed her ass and thighs. She twisted under him… this was the fantasy he’d had yesterday… when he was thinking of meeting her. Jenny, naked, laying under him, begging him to…
“Take me…” she whispered. Per took a deep breath and sank his hips between her thighs again.
Three weeks later
Jenny woke up very suddenly, sitting straight up. Looking around, she realised that she was still on the beach. Still napping on her comfortable bed. She sighed deeply. Another dream about him. When will this finally stop, she wondered… it’s no use to keep dreaming. It only hurts more…
Jenny lay on a quiet beach, on a quiet island, in a peaceful ocean. She had booked the penthouse of a beautiful hotel for the rest of the month, and she planned to do nothing else but enjoy herself. She’d gone back to writing a diary again. The first few lines of her new diary were her plans for the future. She often stared at those written words. Words she’d written when she was on her way to this island. Words she had written while she cried. ‘I will never go back to Sweden. I will never meet Per again. I will not answer if he tries to contact me.’ Those were the most important lines, between ‘quit smoking’ and ‘spend more time with family’.